Just a short post for today alright?

So yeah. I went for my 6-hours practical driving class yesterday. This time I brought my Physics book along! Hahahahaha. I can now tell everyone that I brought my Biology, Chemistry and Physics books to each of my driving classes! Haha.

While the driving guy was explaining about driving, I did the Perlis Chemistry trial paper — the one Pn. Pushpa gave last week. Hahahaha. Everybody’s desk was empty except mine. I had my table siap dengan my trial papers, pencil box and calculator on it like some nerd. Haha. But the driving guy caught me doing my trial paper and told me to keep it and pay attention P.S. I was sitting right at the front. Haha.

FINE.

Anyways, this is not the main thing I wanted to say.

What I wanted to tell you is about what happened when the class ended. My driving instructor had to fetch his daughter from school or something so he sent his friend to take me home instead. Before I went for the class, my driving instructor informed me of the plate number of his friend’s car.

So when I was done, I looked for the car lah. And I found it!

Don’t give me this face, i.e. ’cause I am not done with my story yet!!!

Before I entered the car, I asked the guy who was in the car if he was supposed to fetch me home… in English.

And he was like…

“MEH AH?! — LEI EM SEK KONG KONG FU WAH AH?!”
(What?! — You don’t know how to speak Cantonese ah?!)

And so I told him, like how I tell the other Chinese, that I can only understand the language but cannot speak in it.

He looked totally stunned. HAHAHAHAHA. But yeah, he was supposed to fetch me home.

And in the car, he was quite friendly lah. He asked me what language do I speak with my parents. LOL. The only bummer is that he can’t speak a word of English and I can’t speak a word of Cantonese. So in the end, we spoke to each other in BM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The kesimpulan of my story is that BM is a very important language in our country and most of us tend to take our national language easily and label it as an incompetent language. See… I have proven that BM can bridge language barriers even amongst two people of the same race and ethic background. Heh.

The end

Hello.

I just came back from my driving theory test this afternoon. I am taking a time off from my study schedule to write about it because today was a rather prolific day and should be recorded in this blog!

So yeah, about that stupid, useless, WORTHLESS test. Omg it wasted so much of my precious time and made me stress out the entire week. SPM’s in approximately two weeks time and I am doing this driving shit.

Just in case you are wondering, I ain’t starting the whole driving course after SPM because… I JUST CANNOT. I must get my driver’s license by DECEMBER. It is urgent.

For those of you who have been there and done that, you would know that the driving course thingy is split into two parts right? I am trying to get the first part done before SPM and will be doing the second part after SPM.

No, actually I really do not want to go for it now because 1. SPM’s around the corner; 2. I have zero interest in driving… seriously. Haha. Probably it’s because I know I’ll be successful and chauffeur-driven like… forever. Kekekekeke. Ok. I am not gonna count my chickens before they hatch. For all I know, I’ll be someone’s chauffeur instead. Omg. Touch wood. Touch wood. Touch wood.

I took my test in Kinrara. Arrived at the test centre at 9:00AM. It was super small, super humid, super stuffy, super Third World. The air-conditioner wasn’t working. Even the padded fabric of the seats were ripped off. Omg.

There were A LOT of people. By the way, I was so lonely there. I thought I would meet people who are of the same age group as I am and perhaps make new friends but no… ALL of them were old! Yikes! Ok lah, probably not all… but most of them were! Even at the 6-hour driving class, majority were OLD. Some even have a jangut and it is DAMN WHITE. Omg. It was so white and frizzy that I can’t help but notice and blog about it. Haha.

Speaking of the driving class, it was soooooooo boring. I brought my Biology book to read and managed to cover half of the ecosystem chapter. It was a success! Haha. There was this guy who sat at a few seats away from me… he slept and HE FREAKING SNORED. Omg. I cannot stand being around these type of people lah seriously. So lazy. At least although I wasn’t paying attention I was studying HARD for a better future. And I don’t understand why it took them so long to apply for a license.

Back to the driving test centre… as I was saying… I felt so damn lonely there. This time I brought my chemistry book along! Haha. But I didn’t study at all though. I was trying to memorize the entire driving 101 book.

I didn’t really read much prior to that stupid theory test. SPM laaaaaaah. I have no time to give this thing a damn. But once at the centre, I was damn worried ’cause if I fail, I’ll have to wait until next week to resit and thus prolonging my stress. Die die also must get my driver’s license by December. If not, I won’t have transport to college! Takkan lah I walk? And no, I refuse to take the public transport.

And oh! I forgot to mention that I took the mock driving theory test at home TWICE and I failed TWICE. The first time I scored ±60% and for the second time which I took last night, I scored ±80% (yes, 80% is still a FAIL). I thought of doing another round of the mock test but 1. I was too exhausted and sleepy; 2. I couldn’t do and hence I became lazy. According to Gok Heng, >45/50 is a pass. (Note: My mock test tallies my scores in percentage, so yeah) In other words, I need to score at least 90% to pass.

I only studied Section 1 and Section 3 but completely ignored Section 2. I swear there is no more empty space in my cerebrum left to take in useless and worthless information such as the signboards, how-many-points-I-will-receive-if-I-break-the-rules, the-minimum-amount-of-alcohol-in-my-breath, etc. What are the odds that I will see a binatang liar running in front of my car? It’s dumb.

So yeah. I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited until it was my turn. At 2:00 o’clock, I WAS STILL THERE! I felt like I was like attending the 6-hour class for a second time! It was such a waste of my time and when SPM is only two weeks away, it’s really a waste of time.

While I was waiting, a few ladies were sitting near to where I was sitting. They were like the mak cik-mak ciks from the hood. Haha. And it was so funny ’cause they were LOUDLY yakking about all sorts of housewife nonsense. And one of them was like “Ya Allah, tolonglah berikan saya kekuatan untuk mengharungi ujian memandu ini” And I was like omg! It’s just a driving test! Hahaha.

We all waited pretty long. While waiting, I diligently eavesdropped on their housewife conversations which always sound interesting and funny to me. It was certainly a one of a kind first time experience! Haha. Wait, I don’t think ‘eavesdrop’ is even the proper word to use  ’cause they were speaking so loudly that I can naturally hear.

Later one of them said “Budak nih (obviously referring to me) pun tunggu lama” thinking that I was from China and do not understand Malay, deaf or retarded. I starred at her and then the same mak cik asked me since what time have I been waiting. I replied “nine. err… sembilan!” while putting on a kesian face. Hahahaha. And then she praised “waaaaa… lamanya! you sangat sabar ya?!” (the entire herd of mak ciks exited the centre for lunch at noon)

Mak cik number two asked me what school I was from… to which I proudly answered Subang Utama! I told them that SPM’s in two weeks time and I am so stressed out. And at that very moment, I was officially inducted into the ‘driving moms’ clan. Hahahahaha.

They asked me about my school and what course I am gonna take in college and all. I felt like I was at some college interview or something. Haha. And a few minutes later, I was FINALLY called out to sit for the theory test. My ‘driving moms’ clan wished me good luck. Awwwww… so sweet. Hahahaha. Even my parents didn’t wish me good luck before I left the house.

The questions were okay lah. Quite tough actually. Gunning for a hundred, I did it very slowly and very carefully to avoid making any careless mistakes. The day before the test I didn’t know what a clutch plate was and till now, I still don’t know what a clutch plate is! Haha. And there was one question about it!

I rechecked my answers and then submitted it. My total score is…

.

.

.

.

.

43/50

Thinking that 43/50 is a fail, I was like *gasp* Masyaallah!!!. Hahahahahahahaha.

But then at the bottom I saw the word lulus (pass) and then I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Passing mark was actually 42.

As I walked out of the computer room, my ‘driving moms’ supporters asked me if I passed and so I nodded my head. One of them uttered among themselves “baloilah dia tunggu lama”. Haha. They are super sweet and super cute lah.

I took my result slip and waved goodbye to them before I left… as though I have known them for centuries. Haha. And they all waved back and said bye. Awwwwww…

Happy ending

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

SPM’s just around the corner. About a month more

I just wanna say a few things…

• First and foremost, hiiiiiiiiiiiii

• Sorry for not updating much at all for the past few days weeks months. I would feel guilty whenever I start typing a post. Even now. Not that I study 24-7 but… I just feel guilty lah! Somehow I do not feel the same way when I am playing Bejeweled on Facebook. Haha. But I am over that stupid game now. It was such a waste of my time. Pfft.

• So many things have happened lately I don’t even know where to start! I promise I’ll blog one by one after SPM and you can visit this blog everyday and not be disappointed at all ’cause I assure you that once SPM finishes, there’ll be something new to read everyday. I’ll devout my entire December blogging. Haha.

• High school’s ending. I feel sad. Just a little shout out: SMK SUBANG UTAMA, I LOVE YOU! Remember to tell your teachers and friends how much you love them and how much you’re sorry for all your wrong doings and how much you’ll miss them before you’ll never ever have the chance to do so ever again. SAY YOUR LAST WORDS AND SAY IT RIGHT. For all you know, you’ll never meet them ever ever ever again. Should I end this point with a smiley or a sad face?

• The Amazing Race rocks!!! Damn potong stim… after all the somberness and melancholy, I know.

• All the very very very very very very very very very very very very best for SPM and — life

Hello!

So many things have happened lately. I’ve got so many things to tell you. Too bad, I just don’t have the time.

First and foremost, MY TRIAL EXAMINATIONS ARE OVER! Whoo hoo. I guess this is my only time to rest. After today it will be full gear towards SPM. Hopefully I’ll have that will power and strength in me and hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, I’ll succeed.

So now… let’s talk about trials LOL.

My trial exams were ok. I don’t dare to say much ’cause after the results will not be what I hoped for.

BUT I MADE DAMN A LOT OF STUPID MISTAKES! OUT-OF-YOUR MIND STUPID MISTAKES!!!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

It all started with Modern Math.

You know for every set of Modern Math paper, the formula page will surely be stapled together with it right? MINE DOESN’T! And it was not like everyone else didn’t have their formula page as well. It was just mine!

And so I assumed, “hey! maybe the teachers just wanna test us on how well we remember the formula” so I did not ask for the formula sheet. And then I came across this question which required me to use the volume of a pyramid formula.

I could have answered the question — IF ONLY I HAD THAT FORMULA PAGE. Of all formulas, I FORGOT THE PYRAMID FORMULA. Turned out, the formula page was provided EXCEPT mine… &%&*#%*(&%*(%*&#%.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo naiveeeeee and gullible.

So I skipped it and moved on to the next question.

And when I was at Section B of the paper, I read the instruction:

Choose any of the four questions

I flipped through the last pages and counted the questions. 1…2…3…4! “FOUR QUESTIONS GIVEN ONLY. CHOOSE WHAT?! CIS!”, I told myself. So I answered all the 4 questions, including the chapter 10 question, Plans and Elevations which is super tedious. Must measure here and there. IT TOOK UP A LOT OF MY TIME.

After the invigilator collected my paper, I asked Lu Quan:

How come there was no question on Earth As A Sphere ah? I worked so hard for that chapter!

And he answered, “Got what!”

I was like “WHERE?!!!! I DIDN’T SEE ALSO…”

Apparently, it was on the last page.

And when I flipped through the question paper again afterward, IT WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAST PAGE WHICH I DIDN’T SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so dumb. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUMB. Omg.

When I told Annie about this, she said “You can be so blond at times”. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The next great blunder that I did was for Malay Language paper 2. Here’s a screen cap of one of my whats-on-my-mind on facebook.

Note: Nor Azilah is my Malay Language teacher.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Don’t you wish your teacher is as cool as mine? Haha.

Ok, I hope these are the only plain dumb mistakes that I’ve made. I really really really don’t want to get a bad grade JUST because I did silly mistakes.

I remembered in 10^th grade, I forgot to shade the last 10 questions of my Geography MCQ paper and scored a B for it. I guess I’ll never learn…

For Physics, Chemistry and Biology, it was okay. I know I can still improve if I actually studied a little EARLIER.

But I was very lucky lah. I remembered for Biology, there was one experiment which I studied 5 minutes before the exam and IT CAME OUT. The one on the concentration of salt and water in the urine.

A few minutes before the paper began, I told Lu Quan to remember the phrase “Bitch On Penguin” which was my way of remembering “Blood Osmotic Pressure”. Hahahaha.

I know it’s not hard to memorize the sentence ‘blood osmotic pressure’, but at that kind situation, I CAN’T REMEMBER A THING so I had no choice but to come out with stupid ways to remember. Hahaha. Okay now I hope I didn’t write “As more water is drunk, the bitches on penguin decreases.” HAHAHAHAHAHA. That would be beyond dumb…

Umm.. and oh! English Paper 1! These were the choices given… (wait a minute, let me go get the question paper )

• “I don’t want to go home. I’m scared”, the little boy sobbed pitifully, nursing a bruised arm. Continue the story.

• Describe a fund-raising project that you have participated in your school.

• Our World — Our Responsibility.

• There has been an increase in crimes in your housing area. Suggest ways to bring down the number of thefts and robberies.

• Beauty.

So at first glance, I chose Our World — Our Responsibility. And then on second thought, I chose to write about a fund-raising project instead. I thought of my English teacher and how she favors technical and factual essays. My essays are more towards emotions and society. I don’t want to get another A2 just because I wrote another “presidential” essay and it was not “factual” enough.

And so I started imagining how a fund-raising project is like. Valentines Day Project? Not appropriate. Good luck project? Not enough points. Green Ribbon Project? I was not physically there to live the moment so I don’t know what to write. If only I was required to write a LETTER to organize a fund-raising letter than maybe I’ll do awesome. Haha.

In the end, I scrapped that idea off and browsed through the other questions. Finally, I settled for Beauty. And my first thoughts were MISS VENEZUELA! MISS DOMINICAN REPUBLIC! MISS KOSOVO! MISS AUSTRALIA! MISS PUERTO RICO! *drools* hahahahahahaha. I just watched the Miss Universe pageant on TV not long before that so yeah… Haha. I could have written my entire essay on Miss Universe. Haha.

My first point was about the external beauty of a person. And I wrote nonsense on Sonnet 18. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And then I moved on to the inner beauty of a person and begun the paragraph with “These days, beauty queens are not judged by their looks alone.” And then I wrote more nonsense about the woman’s body and how they do not matter. Hahahahahahaha. And lastly, I ended the paragraph with “Personally, I like women who are strong at heart, independent, confident and ambitious”. Omg. I wonder what will Pn. Subbu think when she reads my essay. Hahahahahaha.

The last time I chose a one word essay was last year, final term in which I yakked about President Accidents. Hahahahahaha. Not very wise of me, I know.

Okay, that’s about it. I gotta sleep now. Byeeeeeeee.

Hi

I feel so retarded

I am worried.

I must not screw these final months up.

I will graduate high school happy.

I WILL GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL HAPPY.

I must stay positive.

Bitter sweet. Roller coaster ride. Tears. Laughter. Joy. Heartbreak. Satisfaction. Disappointment. Wooh, one heck of a journey it was! Today, it has ended officially and oh, finally…

Being a prefect in my school has never been easy. It was never a laid-back ride for me or anyone else in particular in the Prefectorial Board. Every single one of us has certainly faced adversities and difficulties. Everyone has their own story to tell. But amongst the many different stories, there is one thing similar… our journeys were never smooth sails. It was a struggle.

Throughout my 5 years course of being a prefect, I’ve seen people broken down; I’ve seen people lose hope,  faltered, and never saw the light at the end of the tunnel. For me, I am very thankful to have friends who were there for me and who were willing to lend a helping hand during the time I needed it most. Just like in the Prefects’ Camp, you can’t possibly climb the wall all by yourself (okay, I am talking about people my height here!) — you need your team.

I’ve seen with my very own eyes how people have changed for the better good by joining the Prefectorial Board. Take Annie as an example. The timid and introvert Annie who used to sit alone (or with Natalie ) at the corners of the classroom has changed. The Annie I knew back in 7^th grade is now the Secretary of the Editorial Board, the Canteen Bureau of the Prefectorial Board and an outspoken debater! She’s also lame and sarcastic. Who knew?! This shows how one small step she took, that is, by joining the Prefectorial Board can make all the difference.

Same goes to Tzer Wern, my junior. If my memory serves me right, he entered Subang Utama a bit late. He wasn’t like most of the 7^th graders who started schooling in Subang Utama on the 3^rd or 4^th of January. His mom came to see the teacher adviser and pleaded that he be granted a chance to undergo the prefects’ probation (the probation period had started at the time he came, so yeah). His mom believed that by letting him serve in Prefectorial Board, his life will change. His mom believed that the Prefectorial Board will help propel him to greater heights. And she was right. Look where he is now — Head Prefect of Subang Utama!

Stories like these should be taken as an inspiration to everyone! People can chant ‘Green Dogs’ or ‘Suck Ups’ at us all night long but at the end of the day, we’re not the ones losing out. Prefects, keep hanging on! The memories and experiences you will pick up along the way will be priceless and remembered for the rest of your life.

So to the younger generation out there, if you do get this kind of opportunity, embrace it and never ever let go of it. Yes it’ll be hard but always remember that you are not the only one feeling the hardship. Toughen up and fight (in a diplomatic way lah of course!)

Enough said. Will let the pictures do the talking for now… I like what Revathi told me the other day.

Matt, I love going to your blog because I can shop for pictures!

Hahahahahahaha. So cute.

Just for your information, 55% of the pictures posted on my blog comes from Sheng Ling, 42% comes from Annie and 3% comes from me. My job is so easy — just take! Haha.

Everybody please thank Sheng Ling and Annie for the pictures… especially Sheng Ling because we never ever want her to feel “violated”.

Definitions

violated

verb

1. (past of, violate)

adjective

1. Conveys the sense of having been abused sexually (see womanize).

She’s my main source of pictures so I need to keep her happy, healthy and fat and certainly not violated

I know I look really bad here but it was the very last time I sang the Prefects’ Song.

My successor, Rachel.

It’s a video of the honor guard… WATCH!!!

My future running mate! We’ll create a new political party. Watch out BN, PKR, DAP, PAS, Gerakan, SUPP, Pasok Momogun, etc. Grrrrrr…

The discipline unit

Prefectorial Board 2008/09

Prefectorial Board 2005/06/07/08/09

Prefectorial Board 2008/09/10

Congratulations juniors! You guys have been great… except for one thing though — THE BLOCKS PORTFOLIO!!! Don’t keep locking the grills lahhh…

OMG!!!! OMGGGGG!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

OMG!

Wtf. Wtffffff. Wtfffffffffffffffff. Wtfffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

AHHHHHH!!! omgggg… omggg… omggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Remember back in April, Lu Quan, Reuben, Annie and I participated in the HELP UC debate and competed against Seri Suria? The motion of the debate was this house would not experiment on animals for human benefits. We were the government.

Related posts: 1, 2, 3

Look what I’ve found on youtube!

WATCH! WATCH! WATCH!

AND LISTEN CLOSELY TO THEIR HIGHLY ANNOYING AND MADLY THICK AMERICAN ACCENT.

And I quote:

The government was like.. very like, yeah we won, yeah we won.

The only reason why I was smiling was because I saw the first.. their first guy smiling so I was just like countering their mojo with my mojo.

All of them were like uh huh in your face kinda thing and then when we won, we were like in your face, fools!

Bitch.

Don’t you just feel like punching each and everyone of them in the face?!

Just imagine if someone mocks you, your teammates and your school, records every effing word he/she has said and even worst, POSTS IT ON YOUTUBE, will you like it? Of course not! So undiplomatic of these people.

I have so officially lost all respect for the Seri Suria debate team.

Seri Suria lost in Round 2.

USJ 4 High School’s Prefects’ Installation
July 13^th, 2009
USJ 4 school hall

My school’s Prefectorial board was invited to attend USJ4’s Prefects’ Installation. Ju Yinn, Reuben, Zhui Mun, Joanna and I went. I was actually looking forward to this because I have ex-schoolmates who are studying in that school.

Pn. Sherily, our teacher advisor driving. LOL.

Joanna, myself and Zhui Mun at the backseat.

The itinerary.

The inaugural ceremony.

Quite different from my school’s. We have it as a private event at the school hall in which only prefects and teachers are allowed to attend. I expected somewhat the same for every school. Never thought I would actually be attending their assembly! Hahahaha.

Subang Utama High School Prefectorial Board. Seafield behind.

After the assembly, we were taken to some hall situated at the ground floor where refreshments were served. We were actually supposed to stay at the hall but went for a self-guided tour around the school instead. Ha ha. We walked on every floor and passed by every single classroom. How cool is that?!

AND GUESS WHAT?!

I’VE FOUND MY LONG LOST KDU SECOND SPEAKER!!! Remember I talked about how I was so scared I would screw up in my debate speech that I kept apologizing to my second speaker even long before it was my turn? I met her today! She’s outspoken and pretty hot too. I think I am having a crush. HAHAHAHA. Didn’t get her name the first time. Neither did I know what school was she from.

Turns out that she’s from USJ 4. She’s also in the disciplinary unit — holding the exact same post as I am! Is this ada jodoh (destined) or what?!

myself and Soo Yin

I also ran into Andrian! The first time I met him was at the Cenderawasih Centre, Shah Alam… last month and ever since then he has been an awesome acquaintance. Very friendly, this guy.

Andrian and I

After our tour, we returned to the hall only to be transfered to ANOTHER hall… this time at the top floor. So we had to walk up again!

Some performance
(S.U. prefects, remember to keep your ties on and sleeves rolled down and buttoned yea )

The performances were okay lah. Some were good most notably when the 8^th graders sang ‘The Show’ from Ugly Betty.

Subang Utama High School Prefectorial Board

S.J. and S.U.

Somehow I find that USJ 4 students are more relaxed than S.U. The prefects also seem to be really stress-free. Over here at my school, you’ll most likely be greeted by a prefect with a stressed up face. Wonder if other schools are like us too…

* * * * *

Prefects’ Reunion
June 20^th, 2009
Holiday Villa, Subang

Mad lazy to type already and it’s getting late. I am just gonna post the pictures up.

Bye!

Two Saturdays ago, my school organized a fundraiser carnival called Family Day.

At the outset I was feeling quite unenthusiastic and unexcited about the Family Day especially when my class decided to open a haunted house to raise funds during the fête. Haunted house? Really? I sniggered at the idea.

Preparations were carried out at a pretty slow rate. Yes we had short meetings and stuff during school hours but most of them were unproductive. No one seemed to care about this project at all.

Not to be discouraging or anything, I had a feeling that this haunted house project would fail like the other projects that we tried to organize, i.e. class trip, senior class page etc. I love my class but I still stand by my opinion that I made last year that we are a totally divided class — males at one end, females at the other end, Malays one side, Chinese the other side and Indians OUTSIDE! (I am sarcastically referring to my classmate, Sakti so please don’t do a HINDRAF rally outside my house.) And the reason why 5 Zeta is indisputably the most quiet class in the school is because we are so divided!

It was not until Friday, the day before the Family Day that things started to look promising. The banners my classmates drew and colored were up. The necessary items for our ghost house were bought. Everyone was working. I saw, for the first time, teamwork amongst us.

We started off by covering the windows with newspapers so that it was dark on the inside. Everyone was doing the windows so I felt quite useless as I was too short to reach the freaking window! All I could do was help cut the cellotape. I was pathetically bored. I looked around the almost pitch black classroom and noticed several obituaries coincidentally pasted on the windows. And then I had this brilliant idea — WHY NOT PASTE THE OBITUARIES ON THE OUTSIDE SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE?! I initially planned to stick only one or two just to scare the onlookers but I made a fucking huge collage from all the obituaries I could find in the newspaper in the end. Sedikit-sedikit lama-lama menjadi bukit! HAHAHAHA.

Am I awesome or what?!

May they rest in peace!

To my surprise, my awesome collage actually gained quite a lot of attention. Everyone who walked pass the classroom surely has something to say about it. The PTA President, on the contrary, laughed at it. Cis! After all my hard work, I get a LAUGH?

I stayed back at school until 4:30PM that day. Khairunissa, Farah, Huey Yi and I were doing the promotional posters outside. While we were at it, we were able to see the comic expressions of the little 7^th and 8^th graders and eavesdrop on what they have to say about the collage I made as they passed by the corridor. It was like watching Just For Laughs Gags live!

So there was this small petite guy who had the shock of his life when he turned his head and looked over his shoulder— lo and behold— my majestic wall of obituaries. Mad funny! You should have seen his face! It was classic! Too bad I didn’t have a camcorder with me.

And then there was this girl, unaware that the four of us were watching, went up to the collage and fucking KISSED Michael Jackson! Omg. Afraid that it would tear, I immediately shouted “Ei! Don’t kiss kiss all lar… it’s very fragile. I took 4 hours to complete it”. And then she ran away…

HAHAHAHA

Damn proud of my wall.

Noticed our haunted house banner flying graciously between the two poles?

Our food stall menu. Lol.

I was the spokesperson for my class. Yes, I was the guy who was out there screaming “5 Zeta’s haunted house! 5 Zeta’s haunted house!” shamelessly and endlessly. I know you guys love me My most favorite line has got to be:

5 Zeta’s haunted house!!! Do not waste your money, time and energy lining up at some useless stall. Just line up for our haunted house! Come on people, we need your support!

that made the whole crowd stop and stare… like literally (not the OneRepublic song yea). I should win best promoter or something!

Yelling like nobody’s business. Quite a stress reliever actually.

I was probably the most annoying human being ever existed in school the other day. As long as it brings high revenue to 5 Zeta, I can shout the whole day!!! And I was doing that from 8:30AM till 2:30PM and my voice didn’t even turn hoarse. Fuhhh! Gifted!!!!!

Look what I’ve found from the Subang Utama’s blog.

At first when I saw this picture I was like WHO THE HELL IS THAT DRUNK-LOOKING RETARD AT THE BACKGROUND?! And then I realized— it’s me! HAHAHAHA. Look at how everybody seemed to be doing their own thing and I was basically promoting to the wall.

This time I am equipped with a MIC!!! Hahahahaha.

Will you just look at the crowd?! Hah, thanks to my awesome promotional skills.

There was one time our line was so long that it reached our neighboring haunted house. I kept insulting our arch rival 3 Zeta how they had almost no customers at. Ha ha. It was so fun!

But the people of 3 Zeta are really awesome lah. They do not hold grudges and all UNLIKE THEIR CLASS TEACHER, PN. JAMUNESWARY. One of them even bought cookies from our food stall. I like kind people.

Ugh. I have a feeling that Pn. Jamunes hates me. She gave me the “how dare you insult my class?! you watch out!” glare.

Cik Suhana, my form teacher WHO READS MY BLOG.

After we took this picture she softly told me,

Post kat blog ye? *grins*

HAHAHAHAHA. I was like okaaaaaaaaaaay. So I guess she’ll be visiting my blog for the second time anytime soon or probably already have been.

I LOVE YOU TEACHER!!! PLEASE

GIVE ME AN A+ FOR BIOLOGY.

It’s worth a try. Ha ha…

Ju Yinn and I

myself and Emily

Guess who I met waiting in line to get into the 5 Zeta’s haunted house?! — FARHANA!!! I quietly walked behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, gasped and then embraced me with a hug (aww). I got squeezed a little too hard I almost burst This reminds me of June 30^th, 2006.

myself and Farhana

And guess who else I met the other day?

Wan Jun and I

So okay, he is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy taller than me now. I know we had issues and stuff before he left for Canada but somehow I was happy to see him again. We used to be great friends especially during my first year of high school but no longer click once in 8^th grade.

2006

WHY DO I STILL LOOK THE SAME AFTER THREE YEARS WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO LOOK DIFFERENT IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER?! No wait, I do not. I smile more nowadays Seriously, last time I was like some moody, emo, depressed, heartbroken kid 24/7. Really glad that I’ve changed into a more easy-going and confident person. I’ve moved on. Heeeeeeeee. AND SPEAKING OF CONFIDENCE…..

I was daaaamn pissed off when a number of people came up to me and asked:

HEY! HAVE YOU SEEN WAN JUN?! OMG! HE’S FREAKING TALLER THAN YOU!

Wtf. Well… first of all, I am not blind. Secondly, I don’t give a damn. Go get a life other than being my personal height alarm y’all! In my dictionary…

SHORT IS THE NEW TALL.

I AM PROUD TO BE 5 FT. 5″ SO SHUT THE HELL UP. I don’t understand why must I be the one laughed at when there are many other people in this world shorter than me. I am after all still taller than average dwarfs you know!

Come on shorties! STAND UP AND SHOW WHO’S BOSS. Grrrrrr…

But I digress!

Apart from Farhana and Wan Jun, I was also pleasantly surprised to meet several of my elementary schoolmates such as Jeremy Loh, Stephen Ee, Daniel Lim, Ji Kin… just to name a few. Glad that they still remember me. And I never knew Stephen is a friend of Hon Sang!!! Hahahaha.

Our haunted house was officially closed at 2:20PM. Thirty minutes before it was shut down, I shouted and promoted like a lunatic as a last-ditch attempt to expand the already-huge crowd. At 2:00PM, the line was so long that Yongming had to ask me to shut up before it gets even longer. HAHAHA.

By 3:00PM, all the cookies from our food stall were sold off. Mad happy.

Indian Muslim (roti canai!), Chinese (char kuey teow!), Indian (curry chicken!) and Peranakan (assam laksa!). MULTIRACIAL OR NOT?!

Ripping the newspapers off the windows

What makes my class so unique is our diverse culture, different races and varied beliefs and how we are unified as one by an integrating agent— the Zetarific spirit (what?! don’t say it’s lame. I am merely quoting the back of my class’ t-shirt)  You can see the diversity in our haunted house itself; we have black ghost, white ghost, brown ghost, yellow ghost, pocongs, pontianaks, vampires and etc. I didn’t know what a pocong is until Farah became one. See… I learnt something new.

Pocong #1.  Pocong #2 is behind me! Ha ha.
P.S. Don’t I look better without glasses?

When all our arch rivals priced their tickets at $2, we boldly priced ours at $3. When the other stalls raced among each other to reduce their price of goods as the event was about to end, we fearlessly increased ours. We gambled and at the end of the day, we helped raised a grand total of RM2485! We even surpassed our target of a thousand! WHOO HOO.

This is certainly a defining moment for 5 Zeta that we can all be so proud of. It was the teamwork, pioneering spirit and on going optimism that was in all of us that made us a powerful unit to be reckoned with. Every single person in 5 Zeta has played their respective roles in making this project an absolute success. Although not the highest in sales (we are still in the top 5 standing by the way), we have proven to everyone that we are more than just a bunch of nerds, study freaks, suck-ups and teacher’s pet. In a nutshell, I think we all came out of this stronger and closer and most of all, we did this as a team.

I don’t know about the rest but I am so proud to be able to wear the purple and white T-shirt with the big trademark Z that bears all of our names. Glad that I did not opt for a transfer last year.

Oh and thanks to those who have supported my classmates and I by visiting our stalls and taking the time to queue up for our haunted house I hope the coupons you had wasted on 5 Zeta was worth every single bit of it.

5 Zeta, graduating class of 2009 (4 more months people! Persevere!)

Note: July 2 I accidentally published this blog post last night before I have even completed it. So if you had read this already, READ IT AGAIN.

First and foremost…

YAHOO!

MAD HAPPY CAN DIE.

Thank you to my mom for giving birth to me at the right time and the right date so that 17 years later I would escape the National Service.

Thank you to my dad who rushed her to the hospital at the right time and the right date.

Thank you to the doctor who delivered me at the right time and the right date.

Thank you to the nurse who helped the doctor deliver me at the right time and the right date.

Thank you to both my parents who gave me the nicest name ever that may have saved me from the National Service.

A million thank you to my ancestors who chose the right word as their surname that would be passed down from generation to generation. I’ve never been more happy to carry the family name that I am having right now.

Thank you to the Ministry of Defence/Education of Malaysia for having the best computer in the office for not selecting me for the National Service.

I am so grateful. Thank God. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah!

I was so happy that I announced the good news all over the network — facebook, twitter, everywhere!

Since I was at facebook, I might as well show you this too…

HAHAHAHAHA. 43! I know I am very matured for my age, thank you thank you.

Yeah, so anyways… I chatted casually with Wei Lian over the internet while waiting for the National Service Department to reply me with her NS verdict the other night. F.y.i, she’s is currently residing in Thailand. Here’s part of our convo that we had:

Matt Monroe says:
Did you know Yongming, Ryan and Yvonne got chosen for National Service?

Wei Lian says:
Shit… that sucks like ass for them.

Wei Lian says:
But can they choose not to go (?)

Wei Lian says:
I think it is actually just a waste of time… taking 3 months of your life! 3 precious months man!

Matt Monroe says:
They can defer lah — but choose not to go? Is that possible?

Wei Lian says:
I don’t know! Lol. I am asking.

Matt Monroe says:
Oh! HAHAHAHA.

Wei Lian says:
Who else got it?

*teet teet, teet teet*

Matt Monroe says:
YOU!

Wei Lian says:
WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!

Wei Lian says:
Shit! Are you serious?

Wei Lian says:
You’re joking right?

Wei Lian says:
Shit shit shit. I hate this! This sucks to the max!

Matt Monroe says:
Lol! Tell me about your experience once you’re there

Wei Lian says:
Nice!!!

Wei Lian says:
Be mean to me! I am already crying now! Lol.

Haha. Funny.

Had I been told Tahniah or Congratulations, I would protest in front of the Ministry of Defence office the first thing in the morning.

I cannot imagine myself swimming in the mud, eating curry, marching, climbing hills, sleeping on a flat bed as hard as a rock, having an “air-conditionerless” bedroom, camping in the middle of nowhere, listening to long exaggerated Civics lessons and etc. every day.

I hope I do not sound unpatriotic to you because I really love my country to death. I am loyal towards my country and I am proud to call myself a Malaysian. I believe that there are better alternatives and other ways I could do to serve the community. Do they really need a whiny spoilt brat in their boot camp?

And even if I were to get chosen for this, yes, I’d probably mourn and grieve over my tough luck but I’ll eventually get over it. I’ll leave with a willing heart and come back stronger, buffer and more muscular! It’ll be a great exercise regime for me. HAHA. Sort of wish I was chosen now…

I wonder if the Ministry of Defence or Education reads my blog. Hmm…

I WANT TO GO FOR THE NATIONAL SERVICE!!!

PICK ME! PICK ME! ADD ME IN THE PLKN LIST!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I wanna see if this comes true. Just for fun. It’ll be funny if I end up in the list tomorrow.

Honestly, somewhere deep deep deep deep deep down inside me feels like going. In life, almost everyone will be going to college but not many will have this kind of opportunity. Agree?

Anyways, IF I do get chosen, I know that I won’t be going alone because ELAINE, RYAN, YONGMING, SARAVANAN, WEI LIAN AND AMELIA ARE GOING WITH ME! WHOO PEE. What are the odds that all of us will be sent to different camp sites?

Okay, back to what I was supposed to blog about. I participated in a public speaking competition last last last (three ‘last’ yea ) Monday in conjunction with my school’s corporation and entrepreneurial day. The topic was “How to be a successful businessperson in the future”. There were fifteen participants altogether including myself — fourteen of us are from the school’s debate academy.

I was so not prepared for the competition at all I tell you! I only started working on my script on Sunday midnight. The competition was on Monday morning Stressssssed like swine! Pigs don’t stress but who cares!

I rehearsed my speech out loud and proud in my bedroom until 3:00AM. My neighbors may have thought that there was a self-talking psycho living somewhere in the neighborhood. I fell asleep unprepared for the next day. It’s afterall just a school competition. Nothing grand. No pressure.

Here’s my script if anyone of you are interested to read (I doubt that there’s any).

A very good morning I bid to the honorable and fair judges, teachers and fellow friends. Hi. My name is Matthew and I am a proud student of 5 Zeta. The topic that I was given for today’s public speaking competition is “How to be a successful businessperson in the future as a student”.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Throughout my life, I have been raised to appreciate education. I have been constantly told that it is through education that I will succeed in today’s competitive world. I have been given hope that my life will change with education. Ladies and gentlemen, it is through the knowledge and wisdom that we gain from education that will enable us to differentiate what is right or wrong. It is only through education we are able to run our business effectively and efficiently

Next, in order to be a successful businessman, we must always be fair and impartial in life. We must learn to motivate the people around us so that they will give their utmost and hundred percent. As a leader in any corporation, it is important that we inspire our workers – regardless of race, religion, gender and creed so that they respect you. And through respect, people will be willing to work and go the extra mile for you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

In addition to that, we must always cherish the people around us because you’ll never know that the friend you that make today will one day help you in the future. Personally, I am very fortunate to be surrounded by great friends throughout my life. When everyone else seemed to have given up on me, it was my closest friends who stood strong and believed that there is still hope and possibility that things will turn out good out. Same goes in business and in any career field that we choose – if we face a problem, it is your closest friends who will be there for you and help you get through that dark ordeal.

Next, in order to be a successful businessman or to succeed in life in general, we have to confident, charismatic and passionate in whatever we are doing. If we are confident, people will believe in us. If we are passionate, people will be motivated by us. Same goes in business, the ability to convince a potential investor is crucial. If you are not able to sell yourself to others, people will feel doubtful about you and will never invest in your company.

Last but not least, we must always stay strong and never give up. When you are knocked down, stand up and keep going. When you face a dead end, climb to the top and keep going. When you face a financial downturn, rise and keep going. When you are on the verge of bankruptcy, persevere and keep going. When the people around you have lost hope in you, have faith and keep going.

With that ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

monologue: Wtf am I supposed to say again?

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

I was hampered by nerves despite having been speaking in the public eye for numerous times already. Mad disappointed at myself!!! I mumbled my way till the very end of my speech. I had a couple of pauses here and there. I SUCKED BIG TIME! Grrr…

There were many other great speeches that came after mine. LIKE HELLO?! I was fighting against the best speaker of the Dusun Eko leadership camp, Leo’s public speaking Queen and three unparalleled debaters. It seemed like I was going to come in last place.

There was an air of suspense at the place we were gathered around for the announcing of the results. The judges started off by giving a brief comment on our speeches. Neither of the three judges gave me that ‘tsk-tsk-tsk-I-am-so-disappointed-in-you’ look. I know how a ‘tsk-tsk-tsk-I-am-so-disappointed-in-you’ look looks like. It comes along with a certain negative aura only I will feel and know.

And when the results were revealed, I found out that I came in 4^th place! HAHAHA. Who knew?!

Personally, I think that it was a biased decision lah. There were so many people who spoke better than me on that day. Those of you who were present to hear my speech would agree that I was not extraordinary that day.

My English language teacher was on the judging panel, for God’s sake! And so was my debate mentor! They have heard me deliver better speeches before this and perhaps that has influenced their decision. If Miss Ruth was there I wouldn’t even stand a chance!

1^st KDU’s Debate Association (KDUDA) High School Debate Competition

After posting about my experience in the HELP University College Debate Competition three months ago, I received an invitation from the President of the KDU’s Debate Association himself to compete in the very first KDUDA High School Debate Competition.

I immediately informed my fellow HELP debaters about the existence of the KDUDA debate competition and convinced them to register for the competition as a team. Due to our prolonged procrastination, we only registered ourselves on the dateline itself.  It was a relieve to know that Annie, Reuben, Lu Quan and I were all confirmed participants and were in it to win it!

Last last Friday, I attended the debate workshop organized by the KDU Debate Association. The workshop was mad boring because I already knew how to debate and the rules and regulations of a debate. Once the workshop was over, we were asked to volunteer for a surprise. Being the overexcited and restless one out of the bunch, I instantly raised my hand up — totally unaware of what I was getting myself into.

Turned out that I volunteered myself for a mock debate! NOT AT ALL EXCITED.

I was teamed up with two girls. The first speaker of my team is from Seafield. She and the third speaker of the government team come from the same school and were last year’s Taylors debate champions. I was made third speaker, a role I have never played before. OMG. WHY WAS I SO DUMB TO VOLUNTEER?!

The motion was “This house would abolish the death penalty in Malaysia”.

We were the opposition. I WAS SO SCARED TILL I WAS SHAKING ALL THE WAY UP TO THE STAGE.

I was so dumbfounded by how well my first speaker presented our case that I started begging my second speaker who was sitting beside me for forgiveness should I screw up later. Haha. I was equally as dumbfounded by the second speaker of the government team all I merely did was stare at her instead of writing rebuttals. And when the whip of the government team lambasted us with her rebuttals, I almost wanted to run down to Mr. Jacob and weep like a baby. LOL.

And when it was finally my turn to speak, I “confidently” (note the inverted commas) strode over to the center stage and adjusted the microphone to my height, downwards that is. I was the only speaker who messed with the mic. I think I looked pretty cool when I did that. HAHAHA. It was a desperate attempt to gain points for ’style’.

I did super terribly lah. I had my points and rebuttals all over the paper. Half way through my speech I made a looooooooong pause because I couldn’t find my rebuttals on the paper. There was an awkward 30 seconds of pin drop silence. I was a nervous wreck up there! And having 200 pairs of eyes gawking at me certainly did not help reduce my nerves. It was so embarrassing!

Not sure whether the opposition won in the end because Mr. Jacob, myself and everyone else from Subang Utama ran out of the lecture hall once I was done to avoid the after work rush hour traffic.

The real competition begun the following day. Mad lazy to blog already. I’ll just post the results up.

With 3 wins in our hands, we managed break through the octo-finals albeit being right at the bottom of the top 16 standing. We narrowly narrowly narrowly made it.

In the octo-finals, we were matched up against Bukit Sentosa High School. The motion was “This house believes that Barack Obama should punish George W. Bush and his CIA agents for the torture committed during the Bush presidency”

We were the opposition and lost. Bukit Sentosa High School continued their winning streak and ended up in the finals with Catholic high. And they won! On the bright side, we lost to the overall winners.